I take absolutely no stock in zodiac signs whatosever, but it’s always fun when the sign actually does match up with someone’s personality. And they’re for great fun for someone like me who’s a writer (even if I often ignore zodiac signs for that too; oh well).As for me, my birthday is January 20th, which makes me an Aquarius. The typical description for one fits me… shockingly well, actually, but things aren’t as simple as they might seem. I can be very aloof in real life — far more so than I am here; I’m not very comfortable around random people by default — and I can also often seem very logical to the point of seeming almost mechanical. Both of those together often gives off the impression that I’m detached from the world, or that I see everything in terms of logic, or that I don’t really care about anyone or anything at all. Nothing could be further from the truth… I’m actually an extremely emotional person; to a fault, even. It’s just that said emotions don’t always show when most people expect them to. And I hide my emotions a lot besides, not just because of… well, many reasons that are probably too extensive for me to get into meaningfully here, ahaha, but also often to purposely make myself seem as unattractive to talk to as possible, so that people leave me alone. As you can probably tell from that alone, haha, my relationship with people and the world around me is weird: I simultaneously quite dislike most people and the world around me, yet I also strongly want to help people, especially when they’re in need, as well as the wider world around me. Meanwhile, I also simultaneously think that a lot of social interaction — including what most people would call “friendship” — is a complete waste of time, yet I also crave love and companionship, and relationships — real ones — are sacred to me. I’m a mess of contradictions, really, but I think that a lot of my attitudes come just as much from experience just as much as it does from my personality, especially given that my experiences with people, well… let’s just say have given me a pretty good reason to have an broadly unflattering opinion about them, for better or worse. I think that it’s less so much than I’m really aloof — and thus, fitting of the Aquarius sign in that way — more so than the fact that I’ve developed a very low tolerance for fakeness, toxicity, and abuse over the years, having been at the often very painful receiving end of that for almost just as long. It all alters your perception of things compared to how you’d be if you’re lucky enough to have not been through all of that, I think, to the point where it makes you unwilling to open your heart up to anyone to but a scant few people, or wherever feels “safe” (like here at Bulbagarden, for instance). If I were to use TVTropes to describe it — probably a more relatable “horoscope” than actual zodiac signs for some, honestly — I’m classic Sugar and Ice, for sure. Or in animal terms? I’m a like a cat: I do my own thing and it often seems like I don’t care — and sometimes I really don’t — but when it comes down to it, I truly, truly do care, and I’ll likely do pretty much anything for the sake of what — and who — I care about the most.
You can see how that messy bundle of things that equals me doesn’t come together so cleanly into a single sign now, does it?
Overall, I’d say that personality — and one’s ultimate attitude towards life — is greatly a matter of nature versus nurture more than anything else. Zodiac signs are fun to think about, but nothing more than that, during the scant few times that life allows me to. Which is to say, not much at all, especially with my “stuff”. It’s all about surviving another day for me, with my knowledge of me, as I know best; nothing else matters.
(All while hopefully making one of those days easier for someone else, too. With a smile here at Bulbagarden, and with an ever-aloof, distant frown everywhere else, haha).
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